Breaking Mad by Anna Williamson
Author:Anna Williamson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
My story
I was never actually diagnosed with full-blown PTSD, but I certainly felt the effects of the trauma and ‘cycle of fear’ from experiencing my first panic attack. Certain times of the day, particularly night time, would spark feelings of dread, panic and terror, and little things such as the smell of certain aftershaves (my ex’s scent) would set off the ‘panic alarm’ in my brain as I unconsciously recalled the isolated incident of having my first major panic attack. So, there were definitely symptoms of trauma from a significant situation affecting me way after the event.
A combination of permanently high levels of stress for far too long a time, which comprised of a mixture of low mood, mild depression, anxiety and trauma, all went hand in hand with my condition and how I presented my anxiety disorder. When I break it all down, I can really see how and why I felt the way I did. At the time I felt like a freak, a total weirdo and lost cause … now I feel, blimey … no wonder I couldn’t cope with all that going on!
There are still times, even now, if I’m particularly tired or when I’m staying away from home alone where I feel the old familiar feelings creep back in. I believe this stems from that original panic attack and trauma when I felt very isolated, alone and exhausted. Habits can be hard to break, but I am living proof that a good dose of understanding and working to change, can make all the difference to overcoming life’s challenges.
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